Once you have learned more about yourself, it’s fascinating sometimes to observe your personality in action. I subscribe to EnneaThought for the day from The Enneagram Institute, and one of the concepts it regularly mentions is observing your personality patterns in action without judgement or trying to change anything. I ended up doing just that on my recent solo trip to Detroit, and it really highlighted certain elements of my Enneagram 6 personality.
Anxiety over the unexpected
It has been a long time since I went on a trip somewhere unfamiliar by myself. Anymore, my solo travels usually involve a quick visit to my family or my annual road trip back to Tulsa. I know both areas without GPS, and I know people there, so I don’t usually worry a whole lot about the trip.
However, in early October I took a road trip to Detroit for a couple of Hanson concerts, and this was a whole new ballgame. I had booked my hotel based on quite a bit of research on Google Maps, so I was pretty comfortable with my choice. But having only been to Detroit once before, and that was for a conference where I flew in and spent most of the time in the conference hotel. So I didn’t actually know a whole lot about where I was going to be and what it would be like driving there. That’s where I could really observe my personality in action!
What-If Scenarios
I HATE stopping more than I have to when I go on a road trip. I try to combine stops… wait until I need gas to use the bathroom and get snacks. That said, four or five years ago, I made the mistake of not stopping when I had the chance, and things almost got bad by the time I was able to get to a restroom. Since then, I try to stop when I know I can. However, on this trip, I had no idea how many options there would be to stop along the way. The drive was also far more rural than I anticipated, so that created some extra anxiety.
This led to a lot of what-if scenarios. What if I don’t have to use the bathroom, and I miss my chance? Should I pull over to the side of the road? Do I think somebody would let me in their house if I stop and knock? What if the only gas stations are sketchy and dangerous? Ats it turned out, I went through plenty of little towns along the way with some nice gas stations. Ultimately, I just got over myself and stopped frequently when I had the chance.
Without guidance or support
As I got a couple of hours into my drive, I started feeling very sad and anxious about doing the rest of it alone. What if the traffic in Detroit is like Chicago (where I try to avoid driving at all cost)? I don’t have a second set of eyes on the GPS to help me keep an eye on where I’m going. What if I miss an exit or end up going the wrong way? All of these feelings were easy to relate back to my fear of being without guidance or support! Instead of berating myself or letting it spiral into further anxiety, I was able to notice the anxiety and identify the cause.
At that point, I was able to remind myself that I had my GPS. If I got stuck in the middle lane and couldn’t exit, it would guide me to the next available option. If I missed a turn, it would be there for me. I didn’t need another person to support me. I just needed to remember the tools available to me and my ability to use them effectively.
Trouble making decisions
Once I made it successfully to my hotel, I ran into the next personality habit that I recognized in myself. I needed to have dinner before I went, but where? What did I want? Was there anything closeby? Should I eat near the hotel or near the concert venue? It seemed silly to be spinning out over eating dinner. But when I’m already feeling anxious, decision-making can become a difficult proposition. As it turned out, the Universe had my back on this one.
When I was checking in, I learned that the hotel restaurant does free dinners for guests on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. It was Tuesday, and that night dinner happened to be spaghetti. I am a notoriously picky eater, but spaghetti seemed relatively safe. While technically I still had a decision to make about dinner, it made it so much easier. I no longer had to worry about timing or having to get somewhere. I was able to grab dinner, eat it in my room, and relax a bit before the next step in my process… getting to the venue.
Hanson concert strategy
I have been to a LOT of Hanson concerts, so I know the ins-and-outs of that process fairly well. Even though I wasn’t familiar with this venue, I still felt comfortable sticking pretty close to my typical strategy. Since I’m not willing to get in line extremely early (or overnight, which yes – still happens,) I don’t try to get to Hanson shows before the doors open. In Tulsa I don’t even bother to arrive until the show starting time because they always start late. I’ve been to enough non-Tulsa shows since moving away that I know they tend to start closer to on time elsewhere, though. While I still felt a little anxiety about getting a good spot and being able to see, I wasn’t as worried about that this time.
My Enneagram 6 planning, strategizing, and commitment to these experiences served me well once again. I got to the venue easily, parking was a breeze, and the line had already dissipated by the time I got there. It was great to walk right in and only have a few-minutes wait for the opening act to start. I even found an excellent spot up close with a ledge nearby where I could sit!
Learning lessons from my personality in action
My trip to Detroit ended up being a lot of fun and a good break from the day-to-day routine. I had a great time at my Hanson shows and enjoyed some time shopping and reading. The fact that it also taught me some good lessons about observing my personality in action was an unexpected bonus.
I was able to observe many of my Enneagram 6 traits without being too hard on myself. That also gave me the opportunity to think through alternative responses. It was also a good reminder that my planning and strategizing helps prepare me for scenarios like making well-timed stops and navigating the experience successfully.
Hopefully I’ll be able to carry these observations into future scenarios and embrace even my “negative” characteristics. After all, they are linked to the “positive” characteristics, too.
I understand your anxiety well. Most of what you said were things that I would be thinking about and having anxiety over. It’s a really good point you made that the negative characteristics are also linked to positive ones. I guess in a way, it’s about keeping it in perspective and not dwelling on the negative but focusing on how you can use your positive characteristics to balance out the negative ones.