Control vs perfectionism is one of the differentiating factors between Enneagram 8 and Enneagram 1. I have known both types in my life, and sometimes it’s interesting to observe some similarities. According to The Enneagram Institute, Ones might mistype as Eights, but the reverse is not very common. They also identify the shared sense of justice as the source. However, from what I can tell, the difference between control vs perfectionism could be why others can’t identify a One or an Eight. Although you shouldn’t try to guess other people’s types, here are some things I have observed.
Control
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary definition of “control” is
To exercise restraining or directing influence over OR to have power over
Enneagram 8s fear being controlled by others, and therefore attempt to exert control in order to protect themselves. Type 8 leaders can be very inspiring. However, they might also resort to shows of power or control to avoid appearing vulnerable.
Perfectionism
Merriam-Webster defines “perfectionism” as
A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable OR
the doctrine that the perfection of moral character constitutes a person’s highest good
Both of these definitions ring true with an Enneagram Type 1. This is why people sometimes refer to Ones as “The Perfectionist” in the first place. They don’t only hold themselves to the highest standards. They also think they know best, and they will tell you as much.
Eight or One?
So, is that person you know telling others what to do out of a sense of control or perfectionism? Are they an Enneagram 8 or an Enneagram 1? Here are some things to consider based on my experience.
Why are you being told what to do?
Of course most of us have worked for other people. In any job, someone is going to be your boss and give you instruction. Just because an Enneagram 8 or 1 is your boss, however, doesn’t mean that’s the only reason they might tell you what to do. An Enneagram 8 might tell you to do something to maintain a sense of control, while an Enneagram 1 might worry you don’t know how to do something they way they want it done.
How are you being instructed?
Think about the nature of the instruction they gave you. Did they tell you what to do, or how to do it? An Eight might say, “Make sure you do X, Y, and Z” because they want to seem strong and retain some control over what work gets done. On the other hand, a One might tell you, “Make sure you do X like this, Y like that, and Z this other way.” That is because an Enneagram One thinks they know the best way to actually complete the task.
What is their reaction if you don’t do it?
Another difference will come from paying attention to how the person reacts if you question them or don’t do what they told you. Since both types are in the “instinctive center,” they may both react with anger. However, you are more likely to experience the outward manifestation of an Enneagram 8’s anger than you will an Enneagram 1. Eights feel much more comfortable expressing their anger outwardly, so you are likely to see or hear their frustration in the moment. Ones, on the other hand, think that expressing their anger might make them bad. Therefore, a Type 1 is more likely to take the task back and just do it themselves so they can do it “right.”
How does knowing the difference help me?
It is important to understand whether a person is operating out of control vs perfection is so you can respond effectively. If you recognize the motivation behind a direction, you can adjust accordingly. When working with an Enneagram 8, you can acknowledge their input and demonstrate you have successfully completed the task. By doing so, you can show respect for their involvement and lessen their need to exert control. If you work with an Enneagram 1, show appreciation for their desire for excellence. Make sure to clearly communicate your own process and the “why” behind it, as this might help ease their perfectionist concerns.
Above all, remember not to take the behavior of either type personally. If you can identify someone’s core motivations, you are more likely to have successful interactions. An Eight’s need for control or a One’s need for perfection are produced from each type’s biggest fears. When you keep that in mind, you can turn a potentially frustrating situation into an opportunity to grow.
