If you’ve ever felt like you want to be a different personality type than the one you are, welcome to the club. Every time I see the stat that ISTJ is the most common type, I wish I could be rarer. Whether it’s astrology, the Enneagram, or which Jane Austen character you are, we all have that one personality type we wish we could be. But why do certain types *feel* cooler or more desirable?
The Allure of Certain Traits
The People We Admire Have a Different Personality Type
We’ve all met someone who oozes confidence, or maybe they’re the life of every party. Naturally, these traits are super attractive, especially if you are a quiet, uncertain type. Who wouldn’t want to be seen as the charismatic leader or the creative genius? It’s no wonder people lean toward personality types that scream, “Look at me, I’ve got it all figured out!” We crave that feeling of being admired and respected.
Cultural Conditioning
Culture plays a massive role in how we view personality traits. In some places, being outgoing and assertive is the gold standard. In others, being quiet and reflective might get you more respect. We’re all products of our environment, so it’s easy to see why we might aspire to be the kind of person our culture celebrates. It’s like we’re all trying to fit into a pre-made mold.
Relationship Goals
If we’re being honest, we have to admit that we often shape our personalities based on who we think it will attract. Romanticized traits like being deep, sensitive, or mysterious have their own appeal. Whether we’re looking for love or just trying to be the friend everyone turns to for advice, we tend to latch onto traits that we think will make us more appealing to others.
The Search for Who We *Really* Are
Seeing the Positive and Negative Traits in a Different Personality Type
It is often very easy to see the negative traits of the type that we are, and much easier to see the positive traits in the types we are not. The traits that we have are so ingrained that we are not always able to recognize both the bad AND good sides of being a certain personality type. It speaks to our desire as humans to be loved and accepted that we want to focus on the things we consider positive and desirable.
Reinforcing What We Want to Believe
One of the arguments against the legitimacy of personality profiles is that we answer the assessment questions based on the traits we want to have. Once we latch onto a personality type, confirmation bias kicks in hard. We start looking for everything that backs up our belief in that type and ignore the stuff that doesn’t fit. It’s like trying on a new outfit and only seeing yourself from the angle that looks best. We like feeling validated, even if it’s only by a personality quiz.
Finding Your Tribe
There’s nothing like finding your people—those who get you on a deeper level. Personality communities are all about that. When we identify with a certain type, we instantly connect with others who share similar vibes. It’s not just about the label; it’s about the community that comes with it. We want to belong, and personality types can make us feel like we do.
Becoming More Like a Different Personality Type
Sometimes, we look at a certain personality type and think, “I wish I was more like that.” It’s not about pretending; it’s about growing. We see traits in others that we want to develop in ourselves—maybe it’s being more organized, more thoughtful, or more adventurous. Personality types can be like a roadmap for self-improvement, showing us where we want to go. The good news is, the personality type we are does not put us in a box that we cannot change. If you admire traits in others, you can practice those behaviors and still be authentic to who you are.
The Influence of Media
We Are Who We Watch
Do your favorite characters in books or TV or movies tend to have the traits you admire? We tend to look for ourselves in them—or at least see the person we want to be. Whether it’s the brooding, introspective type or the bold, take-charge character, media has a way of making certain traits seem super appealing. So, we start adopting those traits in our own lives, consciously or not.
Celebrities with Different Personality Types
Celebrities are basically walking personality types. When we look up to someone, it’s natural to want to mirror their traits. If someone we admire is known for being super confident or ultra creative, we might start to see those traits as the ones we want to embody. It’s all part of the influence they have on shaping our ideals.
So Why Do We Want a Different Personality Type?
At the end of the day, the personality type you wish you were isn’t just a random choice—it’s shaped by society, culture, and the people around you. But here’s the thing: all personality types have their own unique perks and challenges. The trick is to embrace who you are while also being open to growth. Personality types should be more like guidelines, not rules. So, go ahead and take that quiz, but remember: you’re way more than just a type.
